My ADDled Brain’s ADDiction

“There are no extra pieces in the universe. Everyone is here because he or she has a place to fill, and every piece must fit itself into the big jigsaw puzzle.”

                –Deepak Chopra

I admit it. I have an addiction.

I also have mild depression and anxiety — conditions not uncommon to people with ADD or women going through perimenopause, of which I have both.

Yay for me!

Though it’s not destined to destroy my physical health like alcohol or drug addiction, mine does feel self-destructive. It affects my ability to pursue my career and creative goals.

My addiction? Puzzles.

When I’m feeling stressed, anxious or overwhelmed and want to avoid work, I turn to online jigsaw puzzles, word games, crossword puzzles and Sudoku.

Side note: Nearly 1 in 5 American adults are affected by an anxiety disorder each year, according to the National Institutes of Health.

Now substance addiction is a different animal than say, gambling or puzzle playing, I don’t deny that. Using alcohol, drugs or even tobacco has true physiological effects. But in terms of brain chemistry, I wonder how different those addictions and mine really are.

For me, I think doing puzzles calms my overwhelmed and sometimes anxious brain, much like a heroin addict who soothes his anxiety or pain by shooting up. OK, I admit, that’s probably a stretch given the physical ramifications of not taking a highly addictive substance, as in withdrawal, which is a serious health concern in and of itself. But either way, both addictions result from a lack of impulse control (as embarrassing as that is for me to admit about myself).

Self-proclaimed Puzzlecrossword addict Dean Olsher is ambivalent about crossword puzzles. In a 2009 interview with Melissa Block on NPR, Dean Olsher spoke about his book, “From Square One: A Meditation, With Digressions, On Crosswords.”

Olsher confirms my thinking about puzzle addiction. Reading from his book on NPR,  he says, “Entering a crossword is like stepping into the clean, white cube of an art gallery or into a church or a Japanese rock garden. There are days when solving puzzles feels like a practice — the next best thing to seated meditation … It is more honest, though, to think of crosswords as a habit, like smoking. It’s just something to do every day because it’s there.”

Soothing, right?

However, Olsher also asserts that puzzles “have an addictive, immersive quality that keeps people coming back for more.” Part Zen and part addiction, he likens them to their own form of mental illness.


According to an October article by National Institutes of Health, researchers found that “addiction’s power lies in its ability to hijack and even destroy key brain regions that are meant to help us survive.”

Healthy brains reward healthy behaviors, it says. Exercising and eating healthy foods switches on brain circuits that makes us feel good, so we’re motivated to repeat those behaviors.

When a healthy brain senses danger, it elicits a chemical release that prompts the body to react quickly — the so-called fight-or-flight response. According to a  Harvard Medical School article on depression, “Every real or perceived threat to your body triggers a cascade of stress hormones that produces physiological changes. We all know the sensations: your heart pounds, muscles tense, breathing quickens, and beads of sweat appear.”

But drugs and alcohol mask those chemical responses by hijacking the brain’s pleasure/reward circuits, the NIH says. Addiction sets danger-sensing circuits of the brain into overdrive, making an addict anxious and stressed when not under the influence, leading them to want more and more.

For substance abusers, it becomes a vicious cycle that has them using drugs or alcohol to avoid feeling bad rather than to feel good.

And those stress hormones? They are produced as a result of increased activity in the frontal cortex of the brain — lo and behold, one of the areas of the brain affected by ADD and depression!

If you’re tempted by something questionable—like eating candy instead of a healthy dinner or buying things you can’t afford—the frontal regions of your brain can help you decide if the consequences are worth the actions. But if your frontal cortex isn’t totally functional, as is the case with addiction, ADD and depression, you may not have the ability to rationally stop yourself from doing something you know won’t be good for you. I feel that. It becomes an intense struggle to control impulses. And, like any addiction, it gets in the way of living life.

But I can report now that I have cut down on my puzzle-playing over the last few months during which time, this post sat in my draft folder. Maybe I felt the need for some good news before I came clean to you.

I’m far from cured. I still take an occasional trip to my favorite online puzzles. But I’ve deleted games from my phone and I often stop myself when I feel the urge, so I’m getting there. So does PA exist — a support group for puzzle addicts?

7 thoughts on “My ADDled Brain’s ADDiction

  1. I just spent like 15 minutes typing out a huge comment and I didn’t post😭 I’ll never remember all the crap I said!! Lol
    Basically I have been laying in be d worrying about my 7 yo daughter who inherited my ADD in the form of ADHD, and also struggls with severe dyslexia. After putting up as much fight as a kid could against these monsters us adults struggle and mostly fail to defeat, my daughter has been required to repeat first grade. This has been a huge blow on her self esteem and quite frankly, her ability to give a shit. I know these struggles well and hate to see my baby feel those things. I was googling different articles about the ADHD/dyslexia combo and i stumbled across your blog. I’m so glad I did! I’ve been here about 2 hours now lol you’re authentic and relatable. I love it. You’ve gained a fan!


    • Oh wow, Jade, thanks! That’s nice to hear. Sorry about losing your post — I HATE it when that happens. As to your daughter — if you can find a therapist who specializes as an ADD coach, that could help. I struggled through it all and came out OK. Actually, I’m learning what a blessing it is to have ADD. For example, I just learned that hyperfocus (which is when one gets so concentrated on a task that one loses track of time — yeah, me for sure), is flow and like meditation. So it’s good for your psychological health. I plan to do a post about that sometime so watch for it. In the meantime, I highly recommend checking out ADDitude magazine ( There’s so much great information there for adults, parents and others dealing with ADD. I hope that’s helpful. Reach out anytime! And thanks again for your very kind words.


  2. Pingback: Dopamine — making us dopey? | The ADDled Brain

  3. Pingback: The ADDled Brain and Anxiety | The ADDled Brain

  4. Don’t no if u got my comment. But I wrote that most mornings I do the Newsday crossword puzzle and then Soduko. Wastes a lot of time. Bernice and Florence also did crossword puzzles. The question is
    does the apple fall far from the tree?


    • I did, Mom. And, yes, it does feel like a waste of time. Sometimes, it’s all I feel like my brain can handle first thing in the morning. Maybe it’s our way of waking our brains up? I don’t know. I’m trying to quit.


  5. Guess what! I’m a puzzle addict. Every or most mornings I have breakfast while doing Newsdays daily crossword and sodality. Takes a long time sometimes and wastes the day to a certain extent. The question is does the apple fall far from the tree?


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